Mileena's Reason
by shadowsorel
Summary: After countless years of enmity, Mileena finally confesses the reason she wants the throne. Warning: This is a crack-fic, and major OOCness.
1. Reconciliaton

A pair of heels constantly went _clack, clack, clack_ and echoed across  
the palace. Kitana sat on the throne as she awaited the visitor.

A masked woman, scantily clad in magenta, approached the princess,  
who in contrast, wore a long, elegant, strapless blue dress with a  
tiara. Kitana already dreaded the results of the encounter.

"Kitana," she began, "I wish to express with you the reason I want the throne."

"_What_?" she asked curtly.

Mileena cleared her throat (if it's possible) and began: "For  
countless centuries, I have hated you because of your destiny, wealth,  
status. Do you have any idea of how many people you rule over?"

"Considering I already rule Edenia, yes."

"All those people under your control, and the respect from other realms-"

"Where are you going with this, Mileena?"

"The point is, you have all that power. And I want it."

It took all of Kitana's self-control to keep from laughing, because  
the line was ridiculous. "Why?"

"I want a dentist."

Kitana was shocked. Mileena was always one to use her Tarkatan teeth  
to her advantage. Especially when it came to those... _desperate_ men.

"All this time, you have loathed me and _have even tried to_ kill_ me,_  
for a_ dentist_?!"

"And a PedEgg!" Mileena chimed in. "Think about it; you could simply  
communicate Earthrealm and request a dentist-"

"And where could you have gotten a dentist two hundred years ago?"

"Paul Revere was a dentist."

"He was also a rebel. And what the hell is a 'PedEgg'?"

"It's an egg-shaped object that smooths out your calloused feet. I  
could really use one of those."

Now that she mentioned it, she _would_ like one. Granted, she has no  
idea if it works, but...

"Mileena, if you really wanted those things, why didn't you just tell me?"

"I don't know. For some reason I thought it would be easier to just  
take over your status and then all the realms!" she cheerfully  
replied, with a hint of sarcasm.

"Whatever the case, does this mean that... we don't hate each other  
anymore?" Kitana asked. "We'll actually work together on ruling Edenia  
if I get you a dentist?"

"And a PedEgg!" Mileena chimed in again.

"Fine." Kitana chuckled a bit, and at once, started to write a letter  
to her human_ waifu_.

* * *

** A/N: Just a short crack story I thought I'd write for the lulz. I**  
**really hope I made you laugh a bit. If I'm not funny, please tell me.**

** I'm not sure why I chose a PedEgg out of all those other useless**  
**objects. Oh, well. I'm usually more random than that.**

** In case you don't know, ****_waifu_**** means "wife", and****_ it's not Sub-Zero._**** :-)**

** Off to work on something more serious. Ta-Ta**


	2. An Alternative

A pair of heels constantly went_ clack, clack, clack_ and echoed across the palace. Kitana sat on the throne as she awaited the visitor.

A masked woman, scantily clad in magenta, approached the princess, who in contrast, wore a long, elegant, strapless blue dress with a tiara. Kitana already dreaded the results of the encounter.

"'What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit?'" Kitana asked sarcastically.

"How_ dare_ you talk like that to your sister?!" Mileena snapped. "All I wanted was to confess to you-"

"I was kidding, Mileena."

"You won't laugh at me?"

"Possibly."

"Hey!"

"Just tell me."

"Very well. I wish to take the throne from you."

"Which throne? The one in the lavatory?"

"Seriously. I want your status!"

"_Really? I didn't see that coming!"_

"Kitana, please don't interrupt. For a princess, you are very rude," she remarked. "As I was saying, you have all that power, wealth, respect."

"Go on," Kitana simply stated.

"And with all that-"

Kitana's patience was starting to wear thin. "Seriously, what's your point?"

"I want to marry a human."

"_What?"_ Kitana asked, dumbfounded.

"You heard me! I want to marry a human!"

"But, why?"

"Have you _seen_ Channing Tatum? Rain is _nothing_ compared to him! All those Earthrealm boys are cute! Especially the one I'd marry if I took your status!"

"Wait a minute, do you really mean-"

"Yes."

Kitana went from confused to jealous in a snap. The last thing she wanted is for her_ waifu_ to marry Mileena.

"You _seriously_ think he's attractive?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you attack him?"

"Because he was yours," Mileena whined.

"Well... you can't have him!" Kitana said like a child who didn't want to share their favorite toy. "Besides... erm, there's more appealing men on Earthrealm."

"But_ yours_ is going to be _king_!"

"_So_?"

"_So_ I want him!"

Kitana sighed, and at that moment, she had an idea. "If I find you a suitable spouse, will this enmity be dissolved?"

"_Maybe_."

"I will assign you an important role in ruling Edenia. You will not control _all_ of it, but you will mind a vital subject."

Mileena pondered about the deal.

"I'll give you cookies."

"Deal!" Mileena exclaimed. Kitana picked up a pen, went to her mother's study, and started to write a letter to her _waifu_.

* * *

**A/N: This is a probably less funny version of a why Milly wanted the throne so bad. Sorry the beginning's so repetitive.**

** In case you don't know:**

**"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit?" is a line from the ever-infamous ****_My Immortal_****.**

**Channing Tatum was voted the Sexiest Man Alive... I think. I dunno.**

**I defined ****_waifu_**** in the last chapter.**

**I'm done here. I'll be working on something else. Hopefully, it will be as good as this one.**

**Goodbye! :-)**


End file.
